I do not know the mama who has sung this song but it is just beautiful.

Ninety nine
You’d leave them all just to find
One who was lost, no matter the cost
Even I
Find safety in numbers sometimes
But you sought me out
Coz life is not about ninety nine

I think most of us love the safety of numbers. If everybody is doing it then it is ok. If everybody goes there, then I can also go there. Being different can be scary. Breaking away from the crowd more so. It is easier to conform, flow with the mass energy, instead of building up what I would call the escape velocity to be a free soul, defining your own dreams, determining your destiny.
I want to be the one to go after the one. (See the rhyme? Don’t mess yo!)

Humanity in its very nature is selfish. We want the best for ourselves at whoever’s cost no matter what. And we are surprised when someone expects us to put them first, before us. Growing up in an African community, I learnt that sharing and putting others first was part of who you are. This was probably due to the community-ness of the whole society, but more so because stuff was never enough and you had to learn to share- your food, your books, your toys and dolls, your gifts.

Modern society has taught me to assert myself, to be agressive on what I beleive is rightfully mine and never to let anyone control my life, least of all a man. (do I read feminism in that?) The world has to revolve around me, my needs, my happines, my career success, my convinience- if it does not fit my schedule, then it can go.

It is a sad existence. And it brings alot of collision of wills. Between the one who always puts others first, and the one who will not let herself be trampled upon. Do my needs really matter? Don’t my plans account for something?

I do not know the answer to that. I just know that Love is not supposed to insist on its rights…but where does the line lie? I seek…

In all of us is a hole, a blank, a need to be more that we are, reach out for more, be more. Seekers do find. No. Diligent seekers do find. I seek truth. I seek love. I seek meaning to life, existence itself. I seek beauty. I seek purpose. I seek God. I seek me. The truth is that I am found. I have been found. Before I reached out, someone reached to me. Such knowledge is too profound for me. Everyday, I discover some little bit of truth, of me, of beauty, of purpose, of meaning, of Him.

There is an answer… if only we seek with all our hearts. But at times we do not have to, the answer finds us.

Such beautiful nature shows the footprints of God, and echoes to our souls